Recently, I was going through my life's baggage, when I came across my montessori report card. Of course, this report card didn't have grades, but rather how I fared at certain 'skills', like tying my shoelaces etc. Well, I had a 'good' under most of the categories, but there were some where I did not fare as well. 15 years on, and at the end of my schooling career, I feel it is time to stand up and justify my toddler-self's actions, or inactions, if you will.
The teacher claims I did not:
1) Share materials and equipment: It's a school. You KNOW you have to bring something with you to write with. Bring your own stationery, for God's sake!
2) Know my address, phone number and birth date: I was paranoid. Arbitrarily trust a group of women I don't know and reveal personal details? Let's see a teacher's certificate first, lady!
3) Hold and use writing instruments correctly: As my friends will testify, I still can't.
4) Establish a hand preference: I refuse to conform! I choose to be different. I choose to be ambidextrous! I choose to write equally crappy with both hands!
5) Know how to button: Chicks dig unbuttoned shirts and bare chests.
6) Know how to tie laces: Only sissy Victorian era ladies tied laces. Chuck Norris wears sandals.
7) Recognize letter forms that have been taught: I learnt braille before the English alphabet. Yes, I am that good.
8) Print my name with one capital letter and the rest small letters: Actually, my capital 'F' looked exactly like my small 'f'.
9) Count objects to 10: I'm memon (partly). I can't count 1, 2, 3. I count exponentially. Rs. 1, Rs. 10, Rs. 100, Rs. 1000, Rs. 10000, Rs. Lakh, Rs. Crore, Dawood Ibrahim.
10) Write numbers 0 to 10: See 9.