Fraternising with the Enemy

A while back a friend, and again more recently, another friend emailed me a TED talk by Sam Richards on empathy. Here is the talk:


Quite powerful, eh? I love the way he takes you through the whole exercise. I'm quite sure anyone other than the most deeply-entrenched redneck would be able to see the light after watching it. However, in all fairness, empathising with the plight of our Arab brethren is in vogue these days. The 'Free the Arab World' rage sweeping the globe today, the anti-American sentiment and the Israel-bashing zeitgeist has predisposed us to 'easy empathy' with the Arabs. So I feel, the talk's power is slightly blunted that way.
I think the real test lies with empathising with the likes of Bush, the Taliban, rapists and the rest of the scum of the earth. Whoa, whoa, whoa there. Don't bring the mob on me. EMPATHISING is COMPLETELY different from CONDONING. I'm not asking you to justify rape. I'm not asking you to justify genocide. I'm not asking you to justify the invasion of Iraq. Stealing is wrong, murder is wrong, there's no two ways about it. What I AM asking you to do is to delve into the why's of the crime. This is important so that you realise that no crime, no matter how inhumane, how perverse, is committed by human beings. And no human being alive today is entirely good or entirely evil. Mediocrity is human, perfection divine.
I'd like to relate an incident from the caliphate of Hazrat Umer (RAA), when a boy who was caught stealing food was not given the usual Islamic punishment of cutting off the hand. Why? Empathy. There was a famine and the starving boy stole to survive. The justice system took that into account.
What of the Australian Muslim cleric who compared raped women to meat left out for the dogs to eat? Whereas his choice of words were completely out of place, have you tried to, to quote Atticus Finch, 'delete the adjectives' to get the facts? In a world where scantily-clad hot women traversing your screens, billboards and books can only be seen but not touched by men, is it smart to live in the lalaland where they will still control their testosterone levels, not look at women as sexual objects and never lose control and never commit rape?  Empathy allows you to suppress your emotions when the time comes to deal out cold, impartial justice. That way, we don't exaggerate or downplay the issue at hand. Yes, it pains and frightens me no end to say this (I'm still undergoing training to become Empathiser Extraordinaire), but I include the likes of Hitler, Milosevic, Ted Bundy, Albert Fish, Karla Homolka etc. Everyone deserves empathy. As I said in an earlier post, we have a tendency to go to the extreme. We classify everything in the world into two neat categories: good and bad, instead of recognising the world for what it is, in shades of grey. There is a hadith:
“If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman, 7.522]
Sure, sitting in the safety of our homes, far from the madding crowd, it's easy to say that yes, we do understand where these criminals 'come from', attributing why such people turn out the way they do to a plethora of socio-economic reasons (e.g. troubled childhood, bad friends, born in Compton/Queens/Gaza, having me as a neighbour etc). But if we ever were, say, the victims of said scum, would we be as charitable? I'm referring of course, to the cliche 'Walk a mile in someones shoes before passing judgement on them'.
Let's apply empathy to our workplaces and institutions of learning (WAIL). As such places are centres of most of the human interaction one has during the day, needless to say, they are a large part of ones social life. We have our versions of the Nerds, Jocks, Goths, Cheerleaders, albeit not as neatly compartmentalised as these Hollywood-versions of social hierarchy. And it would be naive to say that these various social circles never have their altercations, just like their Hollywood counterparts (though we alhamdulillah don't usually descend to burning the homecoming queen's hair the day before the prom!). Every WAIL has some people who are universally despised, usually because they're 'different' in a not-very-nice sort of way. And we do gossip, pass judgement on and badmouth such people as well as other cliques. We never apply the empathy rule to such social misfits. Why? Because we are directly affected by them. We aren't exposed to the pressures the government of the US faces from its people when it can't provide them with cheap fuel for their SUVs and iPads. So its easy for us to 'empathise' with the Arabs and ironically, do the opposite with the perpetrators. We forget that Hitler was a product of a Germany that was hurting from the cruel clauses of the Treaty of Versailles. Which doesn't make the gas chambers okay, but doesn't make Hitler the devil's advocate either.
I'm lucky my blog isn't as popular as the Cheerleaders, or I'm pretty sure the comments below would be inundated with flamers calling me a 'Jew-loving Nazi Fag' (Yes, trolls usually aren't the most coherent people out there). Good think I can moderate the comments section, eh?

Happy Meal

In all fairness to McDonald's, they aren't the only ones dishing out monetary support to Israel. Just picked them for the poem because its easier to rhyme with Micky Dee menu items.

Lying underneath the Golden Arches,
The other day as I passed them by,
Lay the bullet-ridden body of a dying Palestinian child.
"Let me get help!" I cried,
"Hang in there awhile!"
But he shook his head
And bade me sit by his side.
"In a minute I'll be dead,
So I don't have much time.
Friend, hear me well
And let the world know.
You thought it was no big deal,
When you bought that Upsized Meal.
But the meat you wrestle down your throats
Comes from the human slaughterhouses of Gaza.
So the next time you're enjoying a McNugget,
Remember, friend, I ain't lovin' it."

Of Quantum Suicide and World Cup Cricket

I've always been passionate about physics. From the sciences we study in high school (Math, Chemistry, Biology, Physics), it's always been my favourite. Sure there are aspects of Biology (medicine) and Math (Statistics and Probability) that interest me more than physics as a whole, but as a subject overall, one can't beat physics. Why do I love physics? Because it's the science that chemistry and biology are ultimately based on. Something on a macro level, like why male pigeons puff their chests out to attract mates (biology) can be explained by reactions in the brain (chemistry) which can be explained by the movement of atoms (physics). Sure, at an even more basic level is math, but physics is the link between math and everything else. Physics is math with real world applications. Whereas in math, you can invent 10-dimensional spaces and go gung ho with the abstract, there is an unwritten requirement in physics to 'keep it real'. Every idea in physics must be matched with a real life phenomenon. Physics allows me to look around me and make sense of the beauty of everything I see at the most basic level. Why does the ball I kick into the air come back down? Why do I see a rainbow when Iight strikes soapy water? Physics explains it all.
This is why in school, I'd always go the extra mile for the subject. For everything else, I'd stick to the prescribed course. But for physics, I would use Wikipedia, Youtube, the works. Yet there is a branch of physics that has always stumped me. Despite all my attempts it's comprehension lies just outside my reach. My attempts to understand it is like the tide. The waves come crashing noisily onto the beach. They try their best to make it as inland as possible but they always seem to recede back to the sea right before they reach their goal. Almost…but not quite (Forgive my attempt at poetry). I refer to that branch of physics which everybody knows of but knows nothing about; that branch made famous by Einstein- Quantum Physics.
After working my rear end to make some semblance of this highly abstract branch of physics (almost entirely based on mathematics and thought experiments), I gave up. However, a recent event in the country has forced me, now a medical student, to revisit this sordid area of physics. It's no Rocket Science. Believe me, it's worse.
I'm not a cricket fan. I'm not a die-hard Pakistan fan either (as a child, I supported West Indies over Pakistan because i identified more with their skin colour than with my country). Big Brother, if he existed (no, conspiracy theorists, The freemasons haven't learnt mind reading yet), would go as far as accusing me of thought treason. The truth is, I'm just not a nationalist. But that's another blogpost.
Anyway, back to my story. Despite my ideals, pakistan still has a special place in my heart. After all, 19 years in the same country has to have some effect. So when I saw Pakistan lose to India in the semis, when I saw everyone around me looking like they'd just returned from a funeral, when I saw a dejected Shahid Afridi walking to the Pakistan team dugout after the loss, when I had to put up with all the loser talk on twitter that night (Remember guys, it's the journey that counts, not the result #nevermindpaks), I felt I had to do something. Throughout the match, I had been shouting at the batsmen to 'Run, Forrest, Run!', knowing fully well they couldn't hear me. It was the most helpless feeling in the world. I wanted to make my friends happy again. i wanted us to believe again. *breaks into 'I Believe I can Fly'*
And out of the blue, some things I'd read about long ago online called Quantum Suicide and the Many Worlds theory sprang to my mind.
So what exactly is Quantum Physics? I'm not sure, but it involves subatomic particles. And I do know this about subatomic particles. They are all around us in everything. Even light is made of photons, which are subatomic particles, that have no mass (yes, they don't weigh anything!). Stuff is made of atoms which are made of (among other subatomic particles) electrons. As scientists, we want to study them, for some reasons that I'm sure are pretty valid. Now the biggest problem in doing so, indeed the biggest problem of quantum physics, is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, named after, you guessed it, Mr. Heisenberg. Basically, it means that if you want to measure some aspect of a subatomic particle, you can't. Why? Because, you'll need light to see the subatomic particle. But light itself is made up of subatomic particles. And if a subatomic particle from light hits the subatomic particle you're measuring, it will move. And you want it to stay still so you can measure it. Never going to happen. Makes sense? probably not. it took me years to get it.
For example, scientists discovered that light has both, properties of waves and particles. How can that be? Waves are intangible, particles are tangible. When we carry out experiments to prove light is a wave, it is a wave. When we carry out experiments to prove light is a particle, it is a particle. So what is it? Is it both? Is it one? Does it change depending on the conditions we provide it with in experiments? Or is it something else altogether? And we can't really prove what it is. Why? The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, that's why.
Since we can't prove it by experimentation, scientists carry out thought experiments. Many have been proposed, such as the Copenhagen Interpretation of the following thought experiment, but I will only discuss the one our country needs the most in its current state: the Many Worlds interpretation of Quantum Physics.
Let's say a man wants to commit suicide. He has a gun and points it to himself. Now this gun is special. It's a sort of twisted Russian Roulette gun. It is attached to a subatomic particle. The particle will either spin clockwise or anticlockwise. The rules of the suicide dictate that if it is spinning clockwise, the man will die when he fires (Man, physicists are real pervs). If it is spinning anticlockwise, the man will live as the gun will just click when he fires. This will keep happening until the time the particle decides to change its mind- and spin.  So it has a fifty percent chance of firing and fifty percent chance of not firing on each shot.
Layman's sense (notice I don't use the word common sense) and some interpretations of quantum physics dictate that he either survives or doesn't on each click. But not the Many Worlds interpretation, nossir. That says that whenever the man pulls the trigger, the universe actually splits into two to accommodate both result. Why? I didn't get that part. So there is a parallel universe where he is dead, and a parallel universe where he is clicking away. You, as an observer watching the experiment only see one. But both have happened.
And therein lies the emancipation of the Pakistani man/woman. This post and complete waste of your time is dedicated to all my fellow countrymen who were glued to their screens on Wednesday. There. I've finally got around to my point.
Therefore, by the above postulations, in some parallel universe, Pakistan has won the world cup and its citizens have been winning the Colgate best smile award for the past 10 years. Unfortunately, in other parallel universes, so have all the other cricketing nations. And in some universe, I've climbed Mount Everest in record time, discovered a cure for halitosis and married a supermodel, in that order. Heck, in some parallel universe, I've married you.



(I would like to dedicate this article to every Pakistani man and woman, as well as my buddy Kaka, who will probably be the only one to understand this article)