Pakistani Bloggers

July 8, 2010

Du Blöder Tintenfisch! (You stupid octopus!)

You know, maybe that octopus' 'prediction' is the reason the Germans got kicked out of the World Cup. Whoa there, put that flaming torch away! I'm not being a heretic! Look at it this way:
For those of you who don't know, Paul the octopus currently resides at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany. Before German international football matches, Paul is presented with food in two identical containers; one container is marked with the flag of Germany and the other is marked with the flag of Germany's opponent. In each instance, Paul's choice of food is interpreted as his predicted victor. Paul is reported to have correctly chosen the winner in five of Germany's six UEFA Euro 2008 matches, predicting that Germany would win every match except a loss to Croatia, but incorrectly predicting that Germany would defeat Spain in the final in 2008. He correctly chose the winner in each of Germany's six matches in the 2010 FIFA World Cup, including Germany's loss to Serbia during the group phase, and a loss to Spain in semifinals. Source: Wikipedia. (Between you and I, I think the octopus' handlers make the prediction themselves and place the tastier food in the box of their choice. Though I wonder what happens when Germany draws a game.)
As you can see, this 'seeing' mollusc has become something of a celebrity. If newspapers in Pakistan are reporting it (I wonder what the Pakistani version of Paul would be....a crow?), then Paul is obviously a household name in football-crazy Deutschland (especially among gamblers!). Which brings me to my point. Paul has been correct 11 out of 12 times. Mathematically, the probability of that is 1 out of 315. Since most Germans aren't Muslims, they therefore are more susceptible to believe in this psychic mumbo-jumbo, though unfortunately, many Muslims today tend to fall for such ridiculous superstitions too. Naturally, news of Paul the Octopus would have reached the ears of the German players. Now, even if they are sceptics, they know for a fact that he has been right 11 out of 12 times. Not bad for an octopus. So when Paul 'predicts' Deutschland's demise at the hands of the Spaniards, they push him to the back of their minds (otherwise he's probably a talisman for them), but there is a fair chance that it is affecting them subconsciously (after all they lack faith in Allah (SWT), except Sami Khedira inshaAllah). We can at least be pretty sure they aren't going into the match with a positive attitude. Conjecture, you say? Yes, but not without ground. Who among us hasn't read their horoscope and at the end of the day reflected on it and thought about that random girl on the street who glanced momentarily in their direction earlier in the day and connected it with their horoscope's vague prediction that 'today is a good day to talk to strangers' (a) other than a salaam, it's not good to talk to strange women, and b) you were imagining it. Just like the movies, she was checking out the guy behind you.), even though we laugh at people who believe in their horoscopes. Face it, we all are suckers for freak occurrences. Which is why in Isam, we're supposed to stay away from such things.
So is it possible that Germany's loss can be attributed to Paul psychologically affecting Lahm n co. into that loss? Anyone who saw the match will agree that Germany weren't playing like the country who beat Argentina 4-0. Do you still have that flaming torch? Are you a Germany fan? Yes? Well, don't burn me, go burn Paul.
 
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